Being Your Own Significant Other

If you aren’t comfortable spending time with yourself that’s a problem.

If you constantly need to be filling your time with other people or with substances like social media, that’s a problem.

Being able to sit with yourself and your own company should be the most satisfying, fulfilling and rejuvenating time. Spending time with yourself is essential to restoring your own energy. If you can’t be comfortable in your own presence, I need you to get comfortable in the discomfort and learn to find support within yourself. 

Think of your dream significant other. What do they do for you? How do they treat you? How do they talk to you? And become that for yourself. If you can’t be the best version of yourself FOR yourself, how can you expect to find that person who will also add that same value and more to your life? Otherwise you’ll just be grasping at weeds trying to make a garden that will never happen. 

This is why our current generation is so content with the “situationship” mindset because we haven’t been told that we need to be better for ourselves first. If we aren’t meeting the standards that we set for ourselves it makes it so easy for us to accept when others also don’t meet our standards, which is why we end up letting them into our lives which they tornado through and end up wrecking. 

Once you start to do these things for yourself and treat yourself that way, finding someone who meets or doesn’t meet your standards becomes much easier because you are already used to that type of treatment so you can easily weed them out. And in the meantime whether you’re looking for that person or not you still have yourself. Your own person should be your biggest priority and biggest comfort. 

I do things daily that help me find comfort within myself and they all stem from what makes me happy and help me feel fulfilled, and none of my hobbies benefit other people, only me. 

For example, when I want to relax I will journal or read. If I need some grounding, I will meditate. If I wanna feel strong or accomplished, I will exercise. If I want to enjoy my presence in nature, I will go on a walk. If I want to appreciate myself, I will buy myself flowers or treat myself to dinner. 

Do you see the pattern? When I want to appreciate myself my hobbies include doing things that  when done with a significant other are considered a ‘date’ or are what we would expect a significant other to do for us. So start showing up for yourself and continue to do so. Every. Single. Day. 

If you need some ideas on ways to take yourself out, read this list of 99 options: 99 Solo Date Ideas- The Good Trade

If you want some more help practicing self love/care, take a look at this article: How to Actually Practice Self-Love- Wondermind