Tag: relationships

  • Interview With My Idols

    Interview With My Idols

    For my interview piece I wanted to talk to some people who I take inspiration from everyday because of their unwavering resilience, love, and passion for life. These people inspire my creativity, push me to be my best self, and are always there for the people they care about. I trust their truths and opinions and know that they can always be real with me, even when I don’t want them to. If it weren’t for these women being there for me while I go through this transitional period of adulthood, there is no way I would even be here right now. I introduce you all, to my best friends. 

    First is Giselle, a Virgo from Sheridan, Oregon. We met because of a mutual friend. Our friendship was a slow burn, but once we were past that surface level friendship her personality was magnetizing. She is really great at giving advice and being truthful and upfront when you most need it. She is currently working towards her license in dental hygiene and her hard work makes her personality ambitious and authentic. 

    Next is Alyssa, a Leo from Portland, Oregon, whose friendship I did not ever expect to be a part of my life. We were teammates in highschool but that was only about as far as our friendship got then, but we reconnected when I started my first year at the UO. She was there for many of my college firsts and continued to be until last year when she graduated. She has a fiery personality and is always down for a good time. She just moved to a brand new city halfway across the country, and has shown me the importance of being open to new people and experiences. 

    Lastly is one of my oldest friendships, Riana, a Virgo from Hillsboro, Oregon. We have been friends since highschool, but since we became roommates our first year of college we have become inseparable. This woman has experienced things I could never imagine going through making her one of the strongest and most resilient people I know. She’s endured many excruciating circumstances and still continues to be one of the most kind and cheerful people I know.  

    I hope you enjoy and trust their opinion as much as I do. All three of these girls have gone through experiences that others couldn’t even imagine while only being in their early twenties. Today, I talk to them about their experience going into adulthood and their advice for other women going through the same. 

    1. What do your 20’s mean to you? 

    Giselle– My 20s to me means making mistakes, learning, growing and trying new things.

    Alyssa– To me, my 20’s have meant learning how to slow down and be okay with not knowing. I feel like a lot of pressure and uncertainty comes with being in your 20’s in regard to decision making during this transition into adulthood. I think it’s a period that at times will feel really uncomfortable or really exciting, but quite often will feel like both at the same time.

    Riana– To me my 20’s means to experience life to its fullest and find what brings you happiness. This is the time where you should start to feel like there’s something you want to focus on or something you want to pursue. I think that in your 20s it’s the time for you to have the most fun and enjoy life to the fullest. Your 20’s is where you find yourself, your friends, and maybe even your soulmate.

    1. During this decade, what do you hope to achieve?

    Giselle– During this decade I hope to graduate and become a registered dental hygienist, have a weenie dog or two, own a new car, maybe own a home and have at least one goat.

    Alyssa– During this decade, I hope to try tons of new things and take advantage of opportunities that may be out of my comfort zone. I want to continue to learn about myself, my interests and the things that make me feel fulfilled with my life. I hope to allow future me to be able to look back on this decade as one full of experiences. 

    Riana– During this decade I will set goals for my future and work on achieving those goals. I want to be able to find a steady career that I genuinely enjoy and want to go to. I hope that I am able to find pure happiness in my life and set dreams that I would never have thought about before. I hope that I can achieve personal growth with each year that comes and I can withstand all of the negativity from our world. 

    Alyssa, Riana and I’s first football game together.
    1. Give a review for how your 20’s are going so far.

    Giselle– So far my 20’s have not been what I expected but I’m motivated. 

    Alyssa- If I had one word to describe how my 20’s are going so far I would say unpredictable, although neither in a good or bad way. A year ago I was in college with my best friends and still able to push the idea that it would all eventually come to end in the back of my mind. On the other hand, post grad felt much like a sink or swim situation as I finally came to understand how different things were really going to be. Although scary, navigating through such drastic changes has also shown me that I have so much freedom which has been fun to figure out what I want to do with it.

    Riana– I feel as if the past 2 years have been eventful and exciting. I have learned so much in these past 2 years especially with being in college and having different experiences with friends and family. I think while being in my 20’s and as I keep getting a year older I realize how scary the real world is going to be and how hard the government is trying to make it for women to experience life to their full potential. 

    Our most recent excursion to The Gorge.
    1. What advice do you have for other women entering their 20’s?

    Giselle– Do things for the plot but don’t be entirely stupid.

    Alyssa– My best advice for women entering their 20’s would be to remember that things don’t always work out and that is okay! Life in your 20’s changes so much and so fast, it’s okay to not know what’s next. I would always advise to try things at least once and if you end up hating it you are nothing but one step closer to finding your path and what’s right for you. I think the most important part of being in your 20’s is your happiness and if that happens to look much different from the life you may have imagined for yourself in your teens, who cares!

    Riana– My advice for women in their 20s is to not give up and keep pushing, things are going to be challenging and feel scary but the hardest part is to allow yourself to fail and keep going. There will be many times where you feel like giving up or things aren’t working out but I would advise to just let go and focus on your friends, family and things will fall into your lap. My main piece of advice for women entering their 20s is to not focus too hard on finding love or finding a partner but spend time focusing on yourself and your own self love and then love from another individual will come at the right time. 

  • Soul Searching for Friendship

    Soul Searching for Friendship

    How can you expect to be a strong, confident woman when the people you surround yourself with aren’t even strong nor confident. As Nipsey Hustle has said, “If you look at the people in your circle and you don’t get inspired, then you don’t have a circle. You have a cage.”

    You can keep friends for different purposes. I have friends specifically for going out or who I drink with, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I get lunch with them the next day when we’re sober because intoxicated me and sober me are completely different people. Or I have school friends that I go to when I need study buddies or that I sit next to in class, but we probably won’t hangout outside of school unless we really connect on another level. But the ones you keep in your tight circle, the ones you call when you need advice, or who you can casually send an emotional text to, that’s your close circle. This is who you need to be conscious of because you are constantly intaking their energy. Look at them and ask yourself if you want to be feeding off of their word and energy. 

    And before you answer that question you need to be unafraid of letting go and outgrowing them. This doesn’t have to mean you have to completely cut them off, but maybe you’re just taking a step back or reducing the amount of time you spend with them. 

    If you want to change and evolve yourself, how can you expect to do so when you surround yourself with people who expect that past version of you? Or who inhibits you from changing? 

    I believe everyone significant you meet in your life is meant to teach you a lesson or provide some sort of insight to yourself that you wouldn’t have been able to discover without them. As you reflect on this I want you to consider some questions:

    • What value does this person add to my life? Maybe they inspire you in some way or push you to better yourself. After you see them do you feel emotionally or energetically exhausted? It should never feel like an obligation or like you have to prepare in some way to interact with this person. Friendship should be easy and should make you feel lighter. Overall if the thought of this person doesn’t put a smile on your face, it’s time to reevaluate your friendship. 
    • Do you feel comfortable being vulnerable with this person? If you can’t be completely truthful or emotionally open up to this person, how can you expect to grow closer? Or are they always venting to you but never asking how you are? Friendships should be a two way street of comfortability with each other, and being vulnerable will help both parties with understanding how they need to be there for each other, which leads me into my next question.
    • In what ways do you feel supported in this friendship? Friendship isn’t just about having common interests and shared experiences, in the time where you and your friend are apart do they check in with you? Initiate conversation? Or when you’re together do you feel your feelings are taken into consideration? Do they openly show they care for you? In a relationship empathy and caring is essential and if it’s one-sided or not there at all, what is the point of keeping that person in your circle? 

    I hope that these questions help you to reflect on your current friendships. Always remember that it is okay to outgrow people. You don’t need to cut them all off abruptly, but just work on setting your boundaries because only you can control who you let into your life. 

    If you want some advice on attracting new, authentic friendships read this article: How to Make Friends- Zen Habits 

    If you’re having some trouble letting go of a bad friendship, read this article on repairing it or leaving it behind: How to fix a friendship (or leave it behind if its toxic)- CNN